woah its been a while

since i've written in this. so today i cleaned out my whole room cus i've realized that there's really no reason for be to be a lazy bitch. life could be so much easier with a cleaner room...so thats what i did. it sill needs some work cus i js threw everything off the shelves and stuff, but other than that...its getting better :D okay, well...lemme tell you guys about this weekend if this is js a personal blog, or if other people are reading this...it'll help me straighten out my thoughts[LOL]. so, on saturday there ws this long episode of traveling from my pad to montrose taking the bus to americana and everything. i got new gauges from glendale galleria, gah i skipped a size to it hurt like shit. LOL. but yeah, then we went to the movies and watch eagle eye[GAYGAYGAYGAY] the ending js killed the whole entire movie. all you had to do ws smash the glass? and you shitting me? and they couldnt do that in the begining? YUCKYFUCK. well around last week i read burned, so i js wanted to put someone my favorite quotes in here cus i need to give back the book to jisoo tmrw ;D so here it goes :
page 229; "I Was Stunned"
Aunt J stared towards the hills,
crimson in sunset. Real love
finds you once if you're lucky.
"But what about....," I started
to say. There was so much
more I wanted to know.
Some people never find love at all,
Pattyn. Count yourself blessed
if it ever comes your way.

This quote got me thinking...when true love finally finds you, is it really that great? I know some people think their in true love, but honestly it's js infatuation...Aunt J makes love sound so ... perfect. But from experience and hearing other peoples stories...is it really that great? I can't wait to find out. Well here's the next one :
page 236; "After He Left"
"Me? Beautiful? I'm
plain as a cardboard."
That may be how you se yourself,
but the rest of the world would
be hard put to agree. You shine
brighter than the Milky Way.

Now there are those who might
try to take that from you, but
you dont have to give it away.
Keep on shining, Pattyn.

I really like this quote because there arent that many people out there who can put those words together that easily and although Aunt J was saying that to me, it was like an inner stregnth quote. I like it (:

page 297; "Journal Entry, June 19"
I can't sleep, Maybe I'll
never sleep again. Does your
brain ever shut down, once
you fall in love?

Am I in love?

It sure feels like love.
Ethan is everything a girl
could ask for. And he promises
he want me. Why me?

Shut up Pattyn. Quit asking
that question. Why even
care he wants you?
Isn't it enough that he does?

It's weird bcus, this quote from the book relates to my life, so after reading this is when I started to put post-its on pages of quotes i really liked. I honestly think any girl would like that quote.

page 311; "Perfect Hands Actually"
Do you know how beautiful you are?
I shook my head. "I'm not, But you make
me feel like I am." I wanted to be beautiful.
To him. For him. I didn't really care how
anybody else saw me. Only Ethan.

I js thought it ws really cute on how much she really tried to be perfect in Ethans eye's, when she already was. Gah, would i die for a relationship like that. LOL. Alrightalright, last one.

page 445; "Aunt J Summoned Me Inside"
Love is stubborn. You
two will find a way
to each other. But please
be smart about it.

I like this quote probably the best because love is stubborn. Ellen Hopkins words speaks so clearly it just sticks to you. i know that love it hard, but its sure worth the ride. Funny thing is though, is that reading this book js made me constantly think of this one person, although it ws sad to know that he wsnt there with me...he still ws. And reading Burned only gave me that much courage to step up and find a way through all the obstacles we would have to face..

Alright, well long post. Honestly, blogging is really for myself. But if you do read this...then cmnt or whatever. Well, gonna try to sleep. I havent had one long good rest in a while now.
Sweet dreams<3

sorry guys

i havent been writing lately.
but fuck has a lot has happened.

first off i wanna say how confusing high school is. wow; although i have easy a classes , the whole concept is so...indescribably. lmao! okayy, so yesterday ws minimum day! i think it ws probably one of the better days in high school? lmaoo; after school ended, i went to yejins house and we watched grudge 2 with steve, josh, james. and judy. ALL JJJJ.
DAAAAAAAMN! lmaoo. idk; js compared to other days it ws a pretty good day for me. lmao! today ws such a downgrade from yesterday since i came home from school. ughhh..-___-x oh well.
there will be better days . hopefully :\

HAHAHA! sorry short post.
i'll post a longass one when something interesting comes aroundd.

Blah;

wow; did summer sure fly by. in the month of july i remember wishing summer ws over cus if ws so boring. but now after freshman orientation, i dont think i can get used to the high school life. cv is so much bigger than i thought it ws when i went there to js kick it. i got the gayest schedule ever; classes with no one, cept for a few people. but i can say now that i think i'm gonna like math (: i dont really need to pay attention cus this is my second time doing it; so i get to fool around with some pretty cool kidds. hahaha. right now i'm really excited for egpc retreat; although i'm the worst possible christian you could come across, i'm excited (: i get to see all the little kitties and big lions from winter retreat. :) right now it's 3:22 in the morning and i have no idea what i'm doing. i think i'm going to go get some sleep soon. but before i do, i think i'm going to js recap my day.
i slept at around; 6? yeah. and i woke up at 1. damn did i feel like crap; then brandon wanted to do something so i went over to his house and js chilled till alex got there. after alex arrived, we went to vons, wow, and 5.2. guys can get so crazy when they're with each other -___-x lmfao. oh yeah and although i have this promise to myself that i wont play maplestory; i broke that today when ted asked me to play. ugh; i still dont see whats so fun about it, cept that its a hella addicting :\. after about 30 minutes i let my brother play. haha; i gotta admit, the characters are so adorable :D mm; well yeah.that ws basically my day. any questions you wanna ask me, go ahead & leave me a cmnt.

love always,
enkayy.